Ain't No Love There!

I received this in my inbox a few days ago. I am posting it with the permission of the reader.

READER'S COMMENT:

Ms Glenda, I am one of those people who read your blogs all the time, but never comment. I just ordered your book and can't wait to get it because I swear I need it right now. I am so embarrassed for what I'm about to tell you. Right now, I feel cheap, used and my self esteem is so low.

I've been dating a man that I work with for the past 3 months. I consider our relationship to be okay. We see each other maybe once or twice a week. He tells me that he is in love with me, but sometimes I'm not sure. Last night he called me at 11:30 and asked me to come over. I was already in bed, so I asked him why he didn’t come over to my house. He said because he's already in bed and didn't want to get up then he said, "Oh by the way, can you stop by Wendy's and get me a double cheese meal cause I'm kinda hungry." Needless to say, the closest Wendy's is 10 minutes out of the way and it's pouring down raining, but because I do love him, I do it. When I finally get to his place he answers the door and takes the food out of my hand. I follow him as he returns to the bed to eat and I sit watching him from the chair. When he's done he tells me to take my clothes off, which I do. Read More...
When I get in bed he starts pushing my head towards his penis indicating he wants me to give him oral satisfaction and I'm cool with it, but his di@k stinks. This fool ain't even had the common courtesy to wash his @ss! I can't go anywhere because he's holding my head. So I lick around it a few times (while holding my breath) and within a few minutes he cums. Now I'm really upset because he made me get undressed and I at least expected to get some penetration, but he gets out of bed and starts to gather up my clothes and hands them to me telling me that he's gotta get some sleep because he has to be at work early (like I didn't know this, again, we work together and I have to be at work at 10 am too!)

So I take my tired @ss home to take a shower because I feel dirty and used. I found myself sitting in the shower crying because I want a man so bad, I'm willing to give up all self-respect and let him use me.

Today at work he totally ignored me and acted like I didn't exist. But that's not all; I hear this chick that works with us bragging to her friends about how she went over to his house last night to punish him for messing around on her. She said she got him all horny, let him put it in then she left him with a hard di@k and told him to go jack off. What's worse is knowing he called me when he couldn't get it from her. I was so sick; I couldn't stay at work and took the rest of the day off. The sad part is that I'm waiting for my phone to ring hoping he'll be concerned enough to call and see what's wrong to cause me to leave work early. Can you give me any insight at all? Please help me!

MY REPLY:

Wow! The first thing I did when I read your message was to go to your profile; I wanted to know something about you. You are only 24-years-old and you fell for the okie-doke and you got played, but IT'S OKAY! When I was your age, I got played a few times too, but baby, it's not the end of the world. So please don't beat yourself up over this.

Chances are before it's all said and done, you will be played again. There is nothing wrong with getting played as long as you learn something from it. This $hit that you're experiencing now, is what's going to make you stronger and wiser in the long run. However, there is something wrong if you allow "him" to play you again. This was definitely a learning experience for you.

All women at some point have felt less than our worth in a relationship. When we think we're in love we do dumb $hit, we think our actions will convince a man to love us the way that we think we love him. First of all, don't get out of your bed at any hour to go and see a man that you're just casually dating. (And you fed him too?! A definite no-no)

If he wants you that bad make him come to you. Also, if a man can spend his social hours hanging with his buddies, at the club and doing whatever (and whomever) else, then don't call me after 10:00 wanting to get together because it's not going to happen.

You can't camouflage a booty call by calling it love. Don't be a man's booty call unless you're okay with it and can accept it for what it is, if not, when you see his number show up on your caller ID after 10:00 and you know you're weak and know he's going to talk his way in, don't answer the phone.

I know it looks real bad right now, and it is indeed a touchy situation because you're in love with someone that you work with and obviously, he's sleeping with other women where you both work, but please recognize that on his part, "there ain't no love there!"

So when you get to work tomorrow, ignore his @$$. Don't speak, or make eye contact; act like he doesn't exist and don't forget to keep a smile on your face. Make him think you have a secret of your own.

Your order has been processed and your copy of I Need Therapy is on the way! I hope it helps!

Blog originally posted on MySpace @ www.myspace.com/glendawallace