What Men Really Want! (**REPOST**...my most popular blog ever)

I decided to post this blog as a follow up to discuss certain issues that women tend to have problems with in relationships. All of this information is already addressed in my book.
When I initially started interviewing men back in the 1980s to gather data for my first book, my original mission was to find out what captured a man's attention when it came to women. I wanted to know what their wants, needs and desires were within a relationship. I found that men are more than happy to tell you waht he looks for in a woman, if you only ask.

My purpose in wanting this information was two-fold; I wanted to know this information because I was writing a book and because I wanted to be the best woman that I could be for my potential man. At the time, I was nineteen and had never been in an intimate relationship with a man. (Yeah, I was an old virgin)
All of the information that I gathered was extremely helpful to me. I interviewed many different men; black, white, Hispanic, Asian, young and old, it didn't matter, I was on a mission, I wanted answers and I was taking notes.
From all the information I gathered, it all boiled down to SEXUALITY!!! When you ask a man what he looks for and wants in a woman his answers are very different than if you ask this same question to women about what they look for in a man.
Men lean towards the sexual side, and women lean more towards security. We won't get into the differences between men and women, but I do think its important that we address some issues that could potentially save some relationships.
I know that there are many of you living in loveless, sexless, relationships and/or marriages who sit at home and watch Dr. Phil or run out and buy our books to learn how to "fix" your relationship. Although I consider myself to be a relationship author, the primary focus of my books is to educate you on how to fix YOU!!! Hence the title "I Need Therapy." This applies to men as well as women. READ MORE...

Just the other day I was having a conversation with a man who claimed that his wife is sexually repressed. "She doesn't want me to go down on her because she thinks its gross. She doesn't enjoy sex at all, so in order to get her to do it, I have to go out and buy her some outrageously expensive gift and then she only gives me repayment sex." he said. "She repays me for my expensive gifts by just lying there and letting me have my way with her. She always has this very bored expression on her face and I can tell she really just wants me to hurry up and get it over with. Asking her to go down on me is out of the question, that shit has only happened twice in the four years that we've been married, then she run to the bathroom and drinks a bottle of mouthwash."
I laughed, for I though this was so funny, yet its common, this was the primary concern that men expressed their displeasure with about the women in their lives.

Most women want to know what makes me the expert on the subjects that I discuss...
Well, I didn't get 5 husbands and 18 marriage proposals because I'm cute, I did it by taking the time to educate myself on what men really want in their relationships. (being intelligent, independent, etc, also helps) lol
Everyday I get messages and email from women who ask me, "what am I doing wrong in my relationship?" I decided to post this blog so that we can have a quick class on WHAT MEN REALLY WANT!!!(this is just the basics)
For all of you "shy" women who hit up my inbox wanting to know how I could be so open about my sexuality, I had to post this especially for you. Most of the comments that I received had to do with the answers to my "Naughty Bawdy Ten" blog. So this is where I will start...

1) I am a master masturbator...
I will often masturbate in front of my man. I get off on the expression on his face...this also shows him what I like and how I like to be touched. Men learn so much more by watching than listening...

Men are visual creatures by nature, which is why I say that they learn so much more by watching than listening. In the past I could tell a man until I was blue in the face, what I wanted, and how I wanted it. (I'm definitely not a shy woman) I could even take his hand and guide it to the spot and display (using his hand) how I wanted to be touched, but as soon as I released his hand, within a few minutes he'd be right back to jabbing and grinding his fingers inside me like he was searching for gold!!! OUCH!!!
It's amazing how after I pleasured myself in front of him, his whole approach changed. Later I would ask him why the change? He said "you've never had such a powerful orgasm with me at any time. I had to learn because I can't let you out do me!!!"...
As I said, allow your man to watch and learn.

For years I have been interviewing men, looking to find what is really important to them in a relationship. The most popular response was good sex.The complaints range from women not knowing or willing to perform oral sex to THEIR satisfaction, to not getting enough sex. Some even complained that their women had simply let themselves go and were NOT SEXY ENOUGH!When I asked most married men or men who were in a committed relationship what their women wore to bed, the highest percentage said (and not very happily) shorts and a tee shirt.
Ladies, I know shorts and tee shirts are comfortable, but have you really looked at yourself lately or do you just jump into bed? I suggest that the next time you get dressed for bed, take a long, hard look in the mirror. What you see is probably a lot less appealing to your man.

8) I own a lingerie closet.
You see for me, shorts and tee shirts are NOT comfortable. I'm in my sexy attire nightly, even when I'm sleeping alone. And we won't even discuss those nasty rags that women wear on their heads, you gotta go to the book for that info. (or we could be here all day)
We already know that men live for fantasy. They go to strip clubs, watch porn; they live for fantasy.You should incorporate a little bit of fantasy into your everyday life.

9) I get wet by orally pleasing my man...
One of the greatest sexual acts for a man is oral sex. If you are good at performing this act, you won't have to worry about anything. I have yet to hear any man say that he doesn't like the feel of his woman's mouth on his manhood, even if she's not good at it. Men define "not good at it" as a lack of enthusiasm. In a sexual relationship, enthusiasm alone can turn a lack-luster experience into a mind-blowing experience.
There is an art to being good at orally satisfying a man. However, if you don't enjoy it, you'd better believe your man will know. So in order to keep a sexually fulfilled man, don't just act like you enjoy it, learn to enjoy it.
Turning a man on orally is a powerful and gratifying feeling. You are in total control. Ask your man to share with you what he wants and what feels good to him. Every man is different and what feels good to one may not be as enjoyable to another. Men are much less complicated than women and can be pleased quite easily once you know what they want...
All right ladies, I hope you enjoyed the preview...now do something with it!!!
Fellas, if I left anything out feel free to let me know!