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I received an e-mail from a woman who was clearly in distress. So much so, that I could feel her pain through her words!!!
Her man broke off their relationship and didn't give a reason why! She wants to know "How do I get over a broken heart?"
I decided to answer this e-mail by blog because I feel her pain...ladies and gentlemen, if you have some ideas, feel free to comment!
There is never an easy way to accept that a relationship is truly over. Especially if you're not the one wanting it to end, OR if you're not even sure WHY it's ending. When someone breaks up with you it helps to know what went wrong. It is a hurtful feeling when one party thinks that the relationship is fine only to discover that their mate wants out. READ MORE...
How to Get the Man "You" Want to Marry You!
Sounds too good to be true? Well it’s not!
There is a misconception that men naturally resist commitment. The truth is most men are not commitment phobic. I have never met a man who wouldn’t commit, yet I receive emails daily from women asking for advice on how to convince their man to commit.
I get very different reactions from men and women when I tell them I have been married five times and I’ve also had 18 marriage proposals.
Most men are intrigued; they want to know what it is about me that made five men want to make me their wife.
Women are curious; they want to know what I did and how I did it, in order to get five men to make a commitment to marriage. READ MORE...
There is a misconception that men naturally resist commitment. The truth is most men are not commitment phobic. I have never met a man who wouldn’t commit, yet I receive emails daily from women asking for advice on how to convince their man to commit.
I get very different reactions from men and women when I tell them I have been married five times and I’ve also had 18 marriage proposals.
Most men are intrigued; they want to know what it is about me that made five men want to make me their wife.
Women are curious; they want to know what I did and how I did it, in order to get five men to make a commitment to marriage. READ MORE...
What Men Really Want! (**REPOST**...my most popular blog ever)
I decided to post this blog as a follow up to discuss certain issues that women tend to have problems with in relationships. All of this information is already addressed in my book.
When I initially started interviewing men back in the 1980s to gather data for my first book, my original mission was to find out what captured a man's attention when it came to women. I wanted to know what their wants, needs and desires were within a relationship. I found that men are more than happy to tell you waht he looks for in a woman, if you only ask.
My purpose in wanting this information was two-fold; I wanted to know this information because I was writing a book and because I wanted to be the best woman that I could be for my potential man. At the time, I was nineteen and had never been in an intimate relationship with a man. (Yeah, I was an old virgin)
All of the information that I gathered was extremely helpful to me. I interviewed many different men; black, white, Hispanic, Asian, young and old, it didn't matter, I was on a mission, I wanted answers and I was taking notes.
From all the information I gathered, it all boiled down to SEXUALITY!!! When you ask a man what he looks for and wants in a woman his answers are very different than if you ask this same question to women about what they look for in a man.
Men lean towards the sexual side, and women lean more towards security. We won't get into the differences between men and women, but I do think its important that we address some issues that could potentially save some relationships.
I know that there are many of you living in loveless, sexless, relationships and/or marriages who sit at home and watch Dr. Phil or run out and buy our books to learn how to "fix" your relationship. Although I consider myself to be a relationship author, the primary focus of my books is to educate you on how to fix YOU!!! Hence the title "I Need Therapy." This applies to men as well as women. READ MORE...
When I initially started interviewing men back in the 1980s to gather data for my first book, my original mission was to find out what captured a man's attention when it came to women. I wanted to know what their wants, needs and desires were within a relationship. I found that men are more than happy to tell you waht he looks for in a woman, if you only ask.
My purpose in wanting this information was two-fold; I wanted to know this information because I was writing a book and because I wanted to be the best woman that I could be for my potential man. At the time, I was nineteen and had never been in an intimate relationship with a man. (Yeah, I was an old virgin)
All of the information that I gathered was extremely helpful to me. I interviewed many different men; black, white, Hispanic, Asian, young and old, it didn't matter, I was on a mission, I wanted answers and I was taking notes.
From all the information I gathered, it all boiled down to SEXUALITY!!! When you ask a man what he looks for and wants in a woman his answers are very different than if you ask this same question to women about what they look for in a man.
Men lean towards the sexual side, and women lean more towards security. We won't get into the differences between men and women, but I do think its important that we address some issues that could potentially save some relationships.
I know that there are many of you living in loveless, sexless, relationships and/or marriages who sit at home and watch Dr. Phil or run out and buy our books to learn how to "fix" your relationship. Although I consider myself to be a relationship author, the primary focus of my books is to educate you on how to fix YOU!!! Hence the title "I Need Therapy." This applies to men as well as women. READ MORE...
Revenge (The Big Payback)
The ultimate betrayal is infidelity. Being jilted by a lover can make you want to crawl under a rock and hide. Some women experience extreme depression and withdraw from the outside world. Some become so withdrawn they can't eat or sleep.
For some women its just the opposite; they turn to food for comfort and overeat. Some may retreat to their beds and may not emerge for weeks. Your self-esteem is at an all time low, but after agonizing over what has happened, and your newly single status, there will come a point when grief and sadness will give way to overwhelming rage.
During this time we can spend hours, days, weeks, plotting and planning our exes downfall. Some women will do just about anything to get back at him. While some women settle for the personal satisfaction of throwing a brick through the windshield of his brand new Range Rover as its parked outside his new woman's house at 2 am, others will take it a step further and report him to the IRS for tax evasion.
Jessica was tireless in her pursuit of revenge. She was consumed by her quest for payback. She would take days off work and drive hours to stake out her exes new woman's home.
Jessica had been with her man for six years. When she met him he was in a committed relationship with his live-in girlfriend.
For six years Jessica has been content to be "the other woman" but recently her man had been displaying "suspicious behavior." He began not returning phone calls, breaking dates, and not spending the time he usually spent with her.
During one of Jessica's snoop escapades, (opening his mail) she discovered her man had recently purchased a vehicle which he wasn't driving.
Now comes the dilemma! Who was driving his car?
Jessica knew that her man was known for buying vehicles for his women. He'd previously bought one for his current live-in girlfriend and also during their relationship he had purchased a vehicle for her.
So now she was on a fact finding mission. She had the year, make and model of this phantom vehicle but she had to find out who was driving it. By going online and creating an account through his wireless
provider, she began checking his phone records. Wouldn't you know it? There was one number that showed up consistently.
By going online and doing a reverse search, she tracked the woman name and address. Hence began the stake outs. Last I heard she was still there...
Revenge, although it seems like a good idea at the time; takes up too much time and too much energy. In order to recover, it is necessary to release the hurt and anger caused by a betrayl, but at some point you have to learn how to get over it.
If a man decides he doesn't want to be with you any longer, have some dignity; know that you shouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. Acting like an alley-cat only makes him realize he made the right decision by leaving you alone.
Take Jessica for instance, her life is consumed with investigating what she already knows to be true. "He cheated with you, he'll cheat on you."
Until you let go of obsessive behavior you can never move forward in life. When you allow yourself to get over it, move on without him and become a better person because of it. Now comes your revenge.
The greatest revenge is success!
Copyright (c) 2006 Glenda A. Wallace ~ I Need Therapy
For some women its just the opposite; they turn to food for comfort and overeat. Some may retreat to their beds and may not emerge for weeks. Your self-esteem is at an all time low, but after agonizing over what has happened, and your newly single status, there will come a point when grief and sadness will give way to overwhelming rage.
During this time we can spend hours, days, weeks, plotting and planning our exes downfall. Some women will do just about anything to get back at him. While some women settle for the personal satisfaction of throwing a brick through the windshield of his brand new Range Rover as its parked outside his new woman's house at 2 am, others will take it a step further and report him to the IRS for tax evasion.
Jessica was tireless in her pursuit of revenge. She was consumed by her quest for payback. She would take days off work and drive hours to stake out her exes new woman's home.
Jessica had been with her man for six years. When she met him he was in a committed relationship with his live-in girlfriend.
For six years Jessica has been content to be "the other woman" but recently her man had been displaying "suspicious behavior." He began not returning phone calls, breaking dates, and not spending the time he usually spent with her.
During one of Jessica's snoop escapades, (opening his mail) she discovered her man had recently purchased a vehicle which he wasn't driving.
Now comes the dilemma! Who was driving his car?
Jessica knew that her man was known for buying vehicles for his women. He'd previously bought one for his current live-in girlfriend and also during their relationship he had purchased a vehicle for her.
So now she was on a fact finding mission. She had the year, make and model of this phantom vehicle but she had to find out who was driving it. By going online and creating an account through his wireless
provider, she began checking his phone records. Wouldn't you know it? There was one number that showed up consistently.
By going online and doing a reverse search, she tracked the woman name and address. Hence began the stake outs. Last I heard she was still there...
Revenge, although it seems like a good idea at the time; takes up too much time and too much energy. In order to recover, it is necessary to release the hurt and anger caused by a betrayl, but at some point you have to learn how to get over it.
If a man decides he doesn't want to be with you any longer, have some dignity; know that you shouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. Acting like an alley-cat only makes him realize he made the right decision by leaving you alone.
Take Jessica for instance, her life is consumed with investigating what she already knows to be true. "He cheated with you, he'll cheat on you."
Until you let go of obsessive behavior you can never move forward in life. When you allow yourself to get over it, move on without him and become a better person because of it. Now comes your revenge.
The greatest revenge is success!
Copyright (c) 2006 Glenda A. Wallace ~ I Need Therapy
Labels:
betrayal,
depression,
drama,
infidelity,
love,
obsession,
relationships,
revenge,
self-esteem
Why Won't He Stay Out Of The Strip Club?...
Okay here we go again, I was having a discussion with a 38 year old man, who admits that he's obsessed with going to the strip clubs.
As a result of this obsession he’s afraid that he might lose his marriage.
When he told me the amount of time and money he was spending at the strip club, I was shocked and wanted to know WHY?! What the heck was he getting out of giving his money to someone who was going to take it and spend it on HER MAN!
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with occasionally visiting a strip club. Its entertainment. For me its like gambling; something you might do for an occasional thrill. However, I do feel that there is something wrong if you spend the majority of your time and money there.
I think you would be better off gambling...at least you’re taking a chance on getting something back... In the strip club you’re guaranteed to get nothing but a hard di@k! And who wants to go home with that? READ MORE...
As a result of this obsession he’s afraid that he might lose his marriage.
When he told me the amount of time and money he was spending at the strip club, I was shocked and wanted to know WHY?! What the heck was he getting out of giving his money to someone who was going to take it and spend it on HER MAN!
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with occasionally visiting a strip club. Its entertainment. For me its like gambling; something you might do for an occasional thrill. However, I do feel that there is something wrong if you spend the majority of your time and money there.
I think you would be better off gambling...at least you’re taking a chance on getting something back... In the strip club you’re guaranteed to get nothing but a hard di@k! And who wants to go home with that? READ MORE...
What Sould I Do?
Recently I had a conversation with a young lady who has been dating her current boyfriend for about 3 months.
She complains that during the entire three months that they’ve been dating he’s been staying at her house. I asked her to explain what she meant by "staying there."
She said, "When I get off work, he’s already in my driveway waiting for me to get there. He sleeps there every night (with the exception of a couple of nights when we got into a heated discussion) and every day that I’m off, we spend the entire day together.
But the problem I’m having is...he hasn’t once offered to help me pay any of the expenses.
Since we’ve been together my household expenses have gone up.
My water bill is higher because he takes showers as often, sometimes more than I do. My electric bill is higher because when we sleep at night the temperature seems to be higher due to the fact that we have that body heat between us, so I have to keep the thermostat lower than normal. And my grocery bill is higher because I cooking for two now, rather than just me. I have tried to explain to him that if he’s going to be here he needs to contribute in some way, but he always complains that he has his own expenses to pay. Since he does have a house, although he never stays there, he has even suggested that we spend sometime at his house but I’m simply not comfortable there. But the killer part is, he can take his money and go buy expensive toys . . . like a $500.00 Apple IPhone.
I care for this man but I don’t know what I should do about our relationship. Can you give me any pointers?
So readers, what’s your take on the situation? How would you suggest this young lady handle this problem?
She complains that during the entire three months that they’ve been dating he’s been staying at her house. I asked her to explain what she meant by "staying there."
She said, "When I get off work, he’s already in my driveway waiting for me to get there. He sleeps there every night (with the exception of a couple of nights when we got into a heated discussion) and every day that I’m off, we spend the entire day together.
But the problem I’m having is...he hasn’t once offered to help me pay any of the expenses.
Since we’ve been together my household expenses have gone up.
My water bill is higher because he takes showers as often, sometimes more than I do. My electric bill is higher because when we sleep at night the temperature seems to be higher due to the fact that we have that body heat between us, so I have to keep the thermostat lower than normal. And my grocery bill is higher because I cooking for two now, rather than just me. I have tried to explain to him that if he’s going to be here he needs to contribute in some way, but he always complains that he has his own expenses to pay. Since he does have a house, although he never stays there, he has even suggested that we spend sometime at his house but I’m simply not comfortable there. But the killer part is, he can take his money and go buy expensive toys . . . like a $500.00 Apple IPhone.
I care for this man but I don’t know what I should do about our relationship. Can you give me any pointers?
So readers, what’s your take on the situation? How would you suggest this young lady handle this problem?
Do Women "Train" Men To Lie?...
Recently I've been having some deep conversations with a male friend. It seems that some men have the belief that women TRAIN their men to lie. I was also informed by a man that ALL men LIE!
My friend explained what he meant by women "TRAIN" men to lie. He said a woman may ask her man's opinion on how she looks in a new dress and he might say "Honey, I don't really like that dress on you." Now she's upset but doesn't verbalize it.
Later that night in bed he reaches over and attempts to have sex with her. She’s still upset about his remark about the dress so she turns her back to him, indicating she doesn't want to be touched.
One week later she gets a new hair style and asks her man what he thinks. Her man remembering the last time he was denied sex for giving his honest opinion, comments that he likes her new hair style, whether he does or not!...
ALL MEN LIE!!!....
I don't know why I'm finding this piece of information so hard to believe since the majority of my life, this has been my problem with men. It seems that when men meet me, they feel they need to lie. Either to make themselves appear more than what they are, or for some reason they feel that they need to impress me.
Now granted, I am a very down to earth woman. I'm a what you see, is what you get type of girl. I do not lie under any circumstance. My motto is: "you may not like what I say but I will always tell you the truth." I believe in letting a man make up his own mind about whether or not he wants to be with me. For some reason men have a problem reciprocating this.
Awhile ago another male friend told me that if men didn't lie they would never get with a "woman like me." Now I had to know what the hell did he mean by "a woman like me?"... He said look at you, you own your own home, you have a nice ride, you're accomplished, you're making your own money, you're intelligent and you don't have any KIDS. To top that off you're fine as hell!
I had to think about that for a minute, now I don't by any means consider myself to be a great beauty, but do I carry myself in any way that makes a man believe he has to lie to me in order to get to know me?
Do I give off any vibes that makes him believe I would be anything other than genuine with him because of the person he's presenting himself to be?
No! I am the same with every man I initially meet, it doesn't matter if he's driving a Benz, or riding a bike. Sure like most women I have my own list of standards,but they're not superficial standards i.e., he must be good-looking, he must be at least six feet tall etc. These things don't matter to me. It’s more important where he is mentally and the directions he chooses in life.
I don't feel that we (women) should have this right taken from us because a man chose to lie and misrepresent himself, in order to "get with us."
In my experiences with men, I have found that SOME men lie about such insignificant things.
Take for example my third ex-husband. When we met he told me that he had been divorced from his first wife for 15 years...however after being engaged for four month, one week before our impending wedding ceremony he sits me down and tells me we need to push the wedding back because he is still married to his first wife and the divorce won't be final for another three weeks. AAAUGH!!!(Not giving up the detail they're in my next book "Through the Eyes of a Woman." But the point is this was a lie he didn't have to tell. Had he only been honest in the beginning, it wouldn't have changed the outcome of the situation.
I find this information a bit disheartening, which is probably the reason I've been single for the past 2 years. I refuse to compromise my standards because I know that I will eventually find that man who won't find it necessary to lie and deceive to get to where he wants to be. I try to give every man the benefit of the doubt because I'd like to think that there is some good in everyone.
Men let me hear from you honestly,
1.) Have you ever lied to get to where you want to be with a woman?
2.) Would you tell a lie to save your current relationship?
3.) Do you feel women train their men to lie?
Ladies, what's your take on the situation, Could you...
1.) Remain in a relationship with a man who has lied to you?
2.) Do you feel that you train your man to lie?
3.) Are women not doing their part by raising their sons to be irresponsible?
My friend explained what he meant by women "TRAIN" men to lie. He said a woman may ask her man's opinion on how she looks in a new dress and he might say "Honey, I don't really like that dress on you." Now she's upset but doesn't verbalize it.
Later that night in bed he reaches over and attempts to have sex with her. She’s still upset about his remark about the dress so she turns her back to him, indicating she doesn't want to be touched.
One week later she gets a new hair style and asks her man what he thinks. Her man remembering the last time he was denied sex for giving his honest opinion, comments that he likes her new hair style, whether he does or not!...
ALL MEN LIE!!!....
I don't know why I'm finding this piece of information so hard to believe since the majority of my life, this has been my problem with men. It seems that when men meet me, they feel they need to lie. Either to make themselves appear more than what they are, or for some reason they feel that they need to impress me.
Now granted, I am a very down to earth woman. I'm a what you see, is what you get type of girl. I do not lie under any circumstance. My motto is: "you may not like what I say but I will always tell you the truth." I believe in letting a man make up his own mind about whether or not he wants to be with me. For some reason men have a problem reciprocating this.
Awhile ago another male friend told me that if men didn't lie they would never get with a "woman like me." Now I had to know what the hell did he mean by "a woman like me?"... He said look at you, you own your own home, you have a nice ride, you're accomplished, you're making your own money, you're intelligent and you don't have any KIDS. To top that off you're fine as hell!
I had to think about that for a minute, now I don't by any means consider myself to be a great beauty, but do I carry myself in any way that makes a man believe he has to lie to me in order to get to know me?
Do I give off any vibes that makes him believe I would be anything other than genuine with him because of the person he's presenting himself to be?
No! I am the same with every man I initially meet, it doesn't matter if he's driving a Benz, or riding a bike. Sure like most women I have my own list of standards,but they're not superficial standards i.e., he must be good-looking, he must be at least six feet tall etc. These things don't matter to me. It’s more important where he is mentally and the directions he chooses in life.
I don't feel that we (women) should have this right taken from us because a man chose to lie and misrepresent himself, in order to "get with us."
In my experiences with men, I have found that SOME men lie about such insignificant things.
Take for example my third ex-husband. When we met he told me that he had been divorced from his first wife for 15 years...however after being engaged for four month, one week before our impending wedding ceremony he sits me down and tells me we need to push the wedding back because he is still married to his first wife and the divorce won't be final for another three weeks. AAAUGH!!!(Not giving up the detail they're in my next book "Through the Eyes of a Woman." But the point is this was a lie he didn't have to tell. Had he only been honest in the beginning, it wouldn't have changed the outcome of the situation.
I find this information a bit disheartening, which is probably the reason I've been single for the past 2 years. I refuse to compromise my standards because I know that I will eventually find that man who won't find it necessary to lie and deceive to get to where he wants to be. I try to give every man the benefit of the doubt because I'd like to think that there is some good in everyone.
Men let me hear from you honestly,
1.) Have you ever lied to get to where you want to be with a woman?
2.) Would you tell a lie to save your current relationship?
3.) Do you feel women train their men to lie?
Ladies, what's your take on the situation, Could you...
1.) Remain in a relationship with a man who has lied to you?
2.) Do you feel that you train your man to lie?
3.) Are women not doing their part by raising their sons to be irresponsible?
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