Let's Talk About Sex!

Okay ladies, we have established how men feel about sex. Sex is one of a man’s basic needs. Sometimes, their minds are constantly preoccupied with thoughts about sex throughout a day. It doesn’t matter what his day consists of, sex is never far from his mind. He can have a big project due at work, yet he will still find time to think of sex.

 I have never met a man who has refused or had no interest in sex, but on the flip side of that, it is important to recognize that sex alone will not get him to put that ring on your finger. I don't care how good it is.
One important thing to remember when it comes to sex is that you are in control. A man can only connect with you sexually if you allow him to. Women will always have that power over a man. Unfortunately, some women abuse that power. Some women use sex as a bargaining tool. It is a big taboo that men feel that women give it up initially to get him, but as the relationship progresses, men claim that women tend to withhold sex or ration sexual favors in order to get what she wants. READ MORE...

Reasons Why Your "First" Date Should Never Take Place at Your Home or His!

* Don't let your first date with a man take place at your home or his!

Do not allow yourself to be enticed with the invitation of a home cooked dinner prepared by him. Yeah, I know it sounds inviting, but if he cannot take you out then pass on seeing him altogether.

Men tend to think of the first date as being expensive; he already knows that you expect him to impress you so he knows he will have to spend some money. However, since he doesn’t know if you are worth it he may opt for an at home movie night and takeout pizza, which will give him an opportunity to feel you out without making a dent in his wallet.

Chances are if you allow him into your home before he ever takes you out, you run the risk of falling into a sexual relationship sooner than you intended. This situation is a no-no for many reasons. You are already sexually attracted to each other and under the right circumstances it is bound to get physical. It might start out simple; kissing, touching, a caress here and there and then one thing leads to another then before you know it … sex happens! Ladies! Do not put yourself in a situation that you may not be ready for.

Ok, now let’s just say that it happened. You got caught up in the moment and ended up sleeping with him sooner than you planned. It’s okay, don’t freak out. Whatever you do, do not turn into an after-sex stalker. An after-sex stalker tries to overcompensate for allowing sex too soon by constantly ringing his phone off the hook, texting every few minutes, wanting to know when the two of you will be getting together again. READ MORE...

Do Women "Train" Men to Lie?

Recently I've had some deep conversations with a male friend. It seems that some men have the belief that women TRAIN their men to lie. I was also informed by a man that ALL men LIE!


My friend explained what he meant by women train men to lie. He said a woman may ask her man's opinion on how she looks in a new dress and he might say "Honey, I don't really like that dress on you." Now she's upset by the comment but doesn't verbalize it.

Later that night while in bed he reaches over and attempts to have sex with her. She is still upset about his earlier remark about the dress, so she turns her back to him indicating she doesn't want to be touched.

One week later she gets a new hair style and asks her man what he thinks. Her man remembering the last time he was denied sex for giving his honest opinion, comments that he likes her new hair style, whether he does or not!...READ MORE...

Why Did "YOU" Get Married?

There is a lot of excitement buzzing about today’s opening of Tyler Perry’s new movie 'Why Did I Get Married Too.' Many of us will be in attendance to support Tyler Perry as he debuts the sequel to his 2007 hit movie ‘Why Did I Get Married?' Perry is an extremely brilliant film maker who never fails to bring the realism of marriage and relationships across in his movies.

I decided to repost a blog that was originally written and posted a few years ago which was inspired by ‘Why Did I Get Married?’ READ MORE...

How to Get Him to Put That Ring on Your Finger in 365 Days Or Less!

A few weeks ago, I decided to unveil my upcoming book “How to Get Him to Put That Ring on Your Finger in 365 Days Or Less!” which will be released in a few weeks.

I am so excited by the interest that this book is generating. I receive emails daily, from women readers asking “When is it coming out?” or “How can I get an advanced copy?” One lady even said she would gladly pay for a copy of my manuscript because she needs help NOW! (lol)

Every woman has a uniqueness that’s all her own. In this book, I teach you how to use your God given ability to get that special man to put that ring on your finger in 365 days or less.

This book was inspired by you, my readers who sent countless emails and letters asking for advice on how to convince your man to commit to marriage. And before you start thinking that this book is all about sex, it’s not. A smart woman knows that sex alone will not make a man want to marry you. I don’t care how good it is. (lol)

Most any woman can find a man who’ll have sex with her, but the real test is, will he marry you? After applying the principles in my book, he will!

But don’t take my word for it . . . READ MORE...

Fake A$$ Relationships!

Fake a$$ Relationships...


What does it mean to be in a real relationship anyway? Many people like to be able to say that they are in a relationship, but they don't fully understand that being in a relationship includes someone else other than self. What happened to the day of a man having his woman's back just as she has his? (And vice versa)

It seems that the first time one party does something that displeases the other party; somebody's ready to bail . . . giving and taking their shit back.

And what about love? People use the word too casually when they may not fully understand the concept of love and what it means to love someone. Sure it sounds good to say to someone 'I love you', but what about meaning it?

I have a problem with people (men) messing up and then saying "I'm sorry" as if saying those words makes the situation okay. Sure it might work the first couple of times, but when you continue the same behavior, at some point, I'm going to get tired of hearing "I'm sorry" because it loses its effectiveness.

I decided to address this issue because of the many emails that I receive every day from men and women who have the most insignificant problems within their relationship, yet for some couples, the insignificant things are causing the most problems within the relationship. READ MORE...

How to Get the Man "You" Want to Marry You!

Sounds too good to be true? Well it’s not!
There is a misconception that men naturally resist commitment. The truth is most men are not commitment phobic. I have never met a man who wouldn’t commit, yet I receive emails daily from women asking for advice on how to convince their man to commit.

I get very different reactions from men and women when I tell them I have been married five times and I’ve also had 18 marriage proposals.
Most men are intrigued; they want to know what it is about me that made five men want to make me their wife.
Women are curious; they want to know what I did and how I did it, in order to get five men to make a commitment to marriage. READ MORE...

Revenge (The Big Payback)

The ultimate betrayal is infidelity. Being jilted by a lover can make you want to crawl under a rock and hide. Some women experience extreme depression and withdraw from the outside world. Some become so withdrawn they can't eat or sleep.
For some women its just the opposite; they turn to food for comfort and overeat. Some may retreat to their beds and may not emerge for weeks. Your self-esteem is at an all time low, but after agonizing over what has happened, and your newly single status, there will come a point when grief and sadness will give way to overwhelming rage.

During this time we can spend hours, days, weeks, plotting and planning our exes downfall. Some women will do just about anything to get back at him. While some women settle for the personal satisfaction of throwing a brick through the windshield of his brand new Range Rover as its parked outside his new woman's house at 2 am, others will take it a step further and report him to the IRS for tax evasion.

Jessica was tireless in her pursuit of revenge. She was consumed by her quest for payback. She would take days off work and drive hours to stake out her exes new woman's home.
Jessica had been with her man for six years. When she met him he was in a committed relationship with his live-in girlfriend.

For six years Jessica has been content to be "the other woman" but recently her man had been displaying "suspicious behavior." He began not returning phone calls, breaking dates, and not spending the time he usually spent with her.
During one of Jessica's snoop escapades, (opening his mail) she discovered her man had recently purchased a vehicle which he wasn't driving.
Now comes the dilemma! Who was driving his car?

Jessica knew that her man was known for buying vehicles for his women. He'd previously bought one for his current live-in girlfriend and also during their relationship he had purchased a vehicle for her.
So now she was on a fact finding mission. She had the year, make and model of this phantom vehicle but she had to find out who was driving it. By going online and creating an account through his wireless
provider, she began checking his phone records. Wouldn't you know it? There was one number that showed up consistently.
By going online and doing a reverse search, she tracked the woman name and address. Hence began the stake outs. Last I heard she was still there...

Revenge, although it seems like a good idea at the time; takes up too much time and too much energy. In order to recover, it is necessary to release the hurt and anger caused by a betrayl, but at some point you have to learn how to get over it.

If a man decides he doesn't want to be with you any longer, have some dignity; know that you shouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you. Acting like an alley-cat only makes him realize he made the right decision by leaving you alone.

Take Jessica for instance, her life is consumed with investigating what she already knows to be true. "He cheated with you, he'll cheat on you."
Until you let go of obsessive behavior you can never move forward in life. When you allow yourself to get over it, move on without him and become a better person because of it. Now comes your revenge.
The greatest revenge is success!

Copyright (c) 2006 Glenda A. Wallace ~ I Need Therapy

What Sould I Do?

Recently I had a conversation with a young lady who has been dating her current boyfriend for about 3 months.
She complains that during the entire three months that they’ve been dating he’s been staying at her house. I asked her to explain what she meant by "staying there."
She said, "When I get off work, he’s already in my driveway waiting for me to get there. He sleeps there every night (with the exception of a couple of nights when we got into a heated discussion) and every day that I’m off, we spend the entire day together.
But the problem I’m having is...he hasn’t once offered to help me pay any of the expenses.

Since we’ve been together my household expenses have gone up.
My water bill is higher because he takes showers as often, sometimes more than I do. My electric bill is higher because when we sleep at night the temperature seems to be higher due to the fact that we have that body heat between us, so I have to keep the thermostat lower than normal. And my grocery bill is higher because I cooking for two now, rather than just me. I have tried to explain to him that if he’s going to be here he needs to contribute in some way, but he always complains that he has his own expenses to pay. Since he does have a house, although he never stays there, he has even suggested that we spend sometime at his house but I’m simply not comfortable there. But the killer part is, he can take his money and go buy expensive toys . . . like a $500.00 Apple IPhone.

I care for this man but I don’t know what I should do about our relationship. Can you give me any pointers?

So readers, what’s your take on the situation? How would you suggest this young lady handle this problem?

Do Women "Train" Men To Lie?...

Recently I've been having some deep conversations with a male friend. It seems that some men have the belief that women TRAIN their men to lie. I was also informed by a man that ALL men LIE!

My friend explained what he meant by women "TRAIN" men to lie. He said a woman may ask her man's opinion on how she looks in a new dress and he might say "Honey, I don't really like that dress on you." Now she's upset but doesn't verbalize it.

Later that night in bed he reaches over and attempts to have sex with her. She’s still upset about his remark about the dress so she turns her back to him, indicating she doesn't want to be touched.

One week later she gets a new hair style and asks her man what he thinks. Her man remembering the last time he was denied sex for giving his honest opinion, comments that he likes her new hair style, whether he does or not!...

ALL MEN LIE!!!....

I don't know why I'm finding this piece of information so hard to believe since the majority of my life, this has been my problem with men. It seems that when men meet me, they feel they need to lie. Either to make themselves appear more than what they are, or for some reason they feel that they need to impress me.

Now granted, I am a very down to earth woman. I'm a what you see, is what you get type of girl. I do not lie under any circumstance. My motto is: "you may not like what I say but I will always tell you the truth." I believe in letting a man make up his own mind about whether or not he wants to be with me. For some reason men have a problem reciprocating this.

Awhile ago another male friend told me that if men didn't lie they would never get with a "woman like me." Now I had to know what the hell did he mean by "a woman like me?"... He said look at you, you own your own home, you have a nice ride, you're accomplished, you're making your own money, you're intelligent and you don't have any KIDS. To top that off you're fine as hell!

I had to think about that for a minute, now I don't by any means consider myself to be a great beauty, but do I carry myself in any way that makes a man believe he has to lie to me in order to get to know me?
Do I give off any vibes that makes him believe I would be anything other than genuine with him because of the person he's presenting himself to be?
No! I am the same with every man I initially meet, it doesn't matter if he's driving a Benz, or riding a bike. Sure like most women I have my own list of standards,but they're not superficial standards i.e., he must be good-looking, he must be at least six feet tall etc. These things don't matter to me. It’s more important where he is mentally and the directions he chooses in life.

I don't feel that we (women) should have this right taken from us because a man chose to lie and misrepresent himself, in order to "get with us."
In my experiences with men, I have found that SOME men lie about such insignificant things.
Take for example my third ex-husband. When we met he told me that he had been divorced from his first wife for 15 years...however after being engaged for four month, one week before our impending wedding ceremony he sits me down and tells me we need to push the wedding back because he is still married to his first wife and the divorce won't be final for another three weeks. AAAUGH!!!(Not giving up the detail they're in my next book "Through the Eyes of a Woman." But the point is this was a lie he didn't have to tell. Had he only been honest in the beginning, it wouldn't have changed the outcome of the situation.

I find this information a bit disheartening, which is probably the reason I've been single for the past 2 years. I refuse to compromise my standards because I know that I will eventually find that man who won't find it necessary to lie and deceive to get to where he wants to be. I try to give every man the benefit of the doubt because I'd like to think that there is some good in everyone.

Men let me hear from you honestly,
1.) Have you ever lied to get to where you want to be with a woman?

2.) Would you tell a lie to save your current relationship?

3.) Do you feel women train their men to lie?

Ladies, what's your take on the situation, Could you...
1.) Remain in a relationship with a man who has lied to you?

2.) Do you feel that you train your man to lie?

3.) Are women not doing their part by raising their sons to be irresponsible?

Why Did "YOU" Get Married?

I was having a conversation with a young lady earlier and she asked me a question...Do I ever think about getting married again? I thought about the question before giving my honest answer...Yes, IF I find the right man.
Then she asked if I wanted to know why she got married? This was a rather interesting question, so I said, "yes, I would love to know why you got married." This was her reply to me...

"BECAUSE, I WAS TIRED OF LIVING THE LIFE I WAS LIVING. ONE DAY IT HIT ME, BECAUSE I FELT THERE WAS SOMETHING MISSING IN MY LIFE AND I DECIDED TO TELL MY HUSBAND, (WHO WAS MY BOYFIEND AT THE TIME) THAT WE NEED TO GO BACK TO CHURCH. HE AGREED.


I REMEMBER MY AUNT TELLING ME ABOUT SHACKING UP, LIVING IN SIN AND WHAT GOD WILL DO TO YOU WHEN YOU LIVE THE WAY ‘YOU’ WANT TO LIVE, AND NOT AS HOW ‘HE’ WANTS YOU TO LIVE.

I REALIZED, WHEN I READ THE BIBLE THAT MY LIFE IS NOT MINES; IT BELONGS TO THE LORD, SO I GOT SAVED.

SO MUCH STUFF I DIDN'T KNOW WAS BLINDED BY THIS WORLD. BUT NOW I SEE, SO BY GETTING SAVED AND WANTING TO LIVE RIGHT, I TOLD MY HUSBAND WE NEED TO GET MARRIED. I GAVE HIM A CHOICE MARRY ME OR WE HAVE TO SEPARATE!

I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE HE PROPOSED. WHEN WE GOT MARRIED I WAS 8 MONTHS PREGNANT. I'M GLAD I MADE THAT CHOICE. I MEAN, WHEN YOU GET SAVED AND YOU’RE HAVING SEX IT FEELS LIKE RAPE. BUT IT'S A PROCESS YOU GO THROUGH; YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CHANGE OVER NIGHT. I STOPPED CURSING, BUT IT DIDN’T HAPPEN OVER NIGHT… I STOPPED DOING ALOT OF THINGS.

BACK THEN, MY MOM USED TO SEND ME TO CHURCH EVERY SUNDAY AND BIBLE STUDY EVERY WEDNESDAY. I DIDN'T LEARN ANYTHING; I GOT BAPTIZED AT MY AUNT’S CHURCH.

I GOT BAPTIZED AS A SINNER AND CAME BACK UP A SINNER, BECAUSE I WAS STILL DOING WHAT I WANT TO DO. I DID'NT UNDERSTAND BACK THEN AND I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO HEAVEN BECAUSE I WENT TO CHURCH EVERY SUNDAY; I WAS HEADING TO HELL, BUT NOW... I THANK GOD I'AM SAVED."

When I read this young ladies words it brought tears to my eyes. Because so many of us are out there searching for certain qualities in our relationships but chances are, we’re looking in the wrong places.
This comment started me to thinking and decided to ask you....

Why Did You Get Married?

This comment is open to everyone. Feel free to be as honest as you like.
For those of you who are no longer married (divorced or separated) Why did you marry the first time and do you think you’ll ever do it again.

For the single folks...Do you think you’ll ever get married? How important is it to you to get married?

What The Hell Is a "Soul Mate" And How Do You Ever Get Over Them?

I received this message in my inbox this morning. I thought it was important to post this blog because we commonly hear the term "Soul Mate" used in reference to relationships. I’d like to know your thoughts on this one too so here goes...

Hi Ms Wallace, I've followed your blogs off and on for some time but have never posted. Recently the term "Soul Mate" keeps popping up in my conversations with friends and family. Is there such a phenomena? I am married, I've been with my husband for a total of 15 years, married for the last 4 years, but recently, my "Soul Mate" got married. This absolutely broke my heart. Although I got married 4 years ago, I've never been so hurt. I actually felt heart-break for the first time. My husband knows all about this man. He held my hand, and held me up asI cried and over my "loss". I love my husband, we have 3 beautiful children, all is well in our lives, EXCEPT for the the fact that I have never gotten over my ex. We have kept up with other, off and on, over the past 18 years. Before my husband and I got married, while dating, I cheated on him several times with my ex. Over the past year, I knew that he was engaged, respected his situation and gave him his space. The last couple of times that we talked, we tried to get closure. Now that he's gotten married I feel like I've lost a part of myself.When I talk about my situation with friends and family, they always ask the same thing, my husband also asked me this, "Why didn't you just stay with him, or marry him?"My reply is the same, "Because I didn't want to live the life that he lived, we didn't have the same goals and aspirations." He lives a very military & structured life, where as I've always been a "free-spirit" and is more interested in living a less-structured, happy-go-lucky lifestyle,..... plus I love my husband, and he loves me we make a good team.
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My best friend on the other hand has recently ended a 12 year relationship with her fiancee. She claims that she always knew that her fiancee was never her "Soul Mate". She is 31 and has met another guy and is really into him. They've been dating for 3 months and she is the happiest that I've seen her in years. The fact that she says that her ex was never her "Soul Mate" What does that mean? How does she know? What the hell is a "Soul Mate" and how do you ever get over them?

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A friend of mine is currently dating a guy. She cheated on him and is now pregnant for the guy that she cheated with. She really does not want to be with the guy she is dating, but the guy that she is pregnant by is a no good drug dealer with no future; but, she just can't get over him. According to her, he is her ......"Soul Mate".I would love for you to post a blog asking your audience their thoughts on what a "soul mate" is, do you ever get over a "soul mate" etc...

So I ask ladies and gentlemen....

What The Hell Is a "Soul Mate" And How Do You Ever Get Over Them?

1.) What is a soul mate?
2.) How do you know if someone is your soul mate?
3.) If you ever miss out on, or lose the person you consider to be your soul mate, could you ever find another one?
4.) How do you ever get over them? or, Do you ever get over them?

As always, your honesty is much appreciated!